SkinnyME

2006-01-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

Closing this site down. I have a new one up!

I did it!

2005-11-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

A quick post...I did it! I made into the 160's!!! Only 1.5 pounds to go till I reach my first official goal, I'm so excited...this will be my first real goal achieved fitness wise! All that walking is paying off and it is not only helping with the weight loss but also with the stress of exams. No time to update now, I have to get back to studying!

160's here I come!

2005-10-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

Almost a month has passed since I posted on this blog, it was hard to keep up in September because of school. Starting a new school, meeting new people, discovering how hard college really is took a toll on me in September, which is why I didn't exercise much nor did I pay attention to my food intake. Luckily I was able to maintain and actually lose 1lb and that was probably because I have started walking home from school instead of driving. In the beginning of October I made a promise that I would get back to exercising and change my food habits and I kept it :). I have been walking again and it feels soo good to be outside in the autumn weather and not think about anything except my speed and mileage. Walking is like therapy, I get away from thinking about school and family matters.

I have a new goal to lose 5lbs by my birthday which is on November 21st, I know I can do it. It would put me at 165. I can't wait to be in the 160's I havent been in the 160's since 3 years ago.

The holidays are just around the corner and I'm already downloading Christmas songs. I don't know what it is about this time of year that fills me with so much happiness. I hope I can keep that happiness up when the next round of mid-terms and finals come up =/.

2005-09-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

School has definitley taken a toll on me. I just feel so tired when I get home. All I do is nap and eat. Let's not forget the the pile of reading that keeps getting higher and higher everyday. BUT I'm ready. I'm ready to get back into it. Ready to start my running adventures and keep going with my walking ones. Also for the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about this blog a lot and I think I'm ready for a new one. I'm not SkinnyME anymore. I don't want to be skinny, I want to be FIT. More on that later.

Still holding steady at 172, I have maintained that weight for 2 weeks and I'm ready to not see it next week. Here's to 170 by the end of the month, which would mean 15lbs down...that's simply hard to believe. Sometimes when people ask me how much I have lost and I say 13lbs and it rings in my head for awhile and I can't believe that I have actually lost 13lbs. I always double check myself, have I really lost that much? Am I absolutley certain? I have this new respect for my body, everything is just coming together and everything is clicking. I realize how important exercise is for me not only physically but mentally also. These past 2 weeks I did no exercise and felt like crap, I was tired all the time, falling asleep in class and I know it's because of the lack of exercise. 170 here I come!

I'm ready.

o.m.g

2005-09-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

I ran 20 minutes straight on the treadmill today.

WOW.

untitled

2005-08-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

Scale said 173.5ish today, it's been acting up I should invest in a digital scale for a more accurate reading. It makes me mad to keep stepping on and off that stupid thing to make sure it's a 0 and sometimes it moves and it's very annoying.

I'm going to try my best and be good this week. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and then another wedding next week so it'll be a little crazy however I'm going to try my best and eat reasonably and watch my portions carefully.

I'll be keeping up with my workouts. If I know that I will be out in the evening, I'm going to make sure I do my workouts in the morning which is super hard for me but I need to get in the routine of getting up early because of school anyways.

Running is kind of making me a little uncomfortable...I can't really do it outside and thats where I want to be running but the girls are just moving around way too much. I need to find a good sports bra but it can't be too expensive like the Enell ones, I was looking at it and it was $55. I can't spend that much on a sports bra. Any ideas ladies?

small steps

2005-08-10T19:25:00.000-07:00

I fell off the wagon for a couple of weeks. It really sucks..I just ate whatever and didn't exercise so no loss and definitley some gain in weight. Yesterday I decided that I am not going to sit at home all day anymore and feel sorry for myself cause I can't get my lazy ass to get up and do some exercise. I walked to the library got a couple of books came home read some and then had a snack and went out for a 3 mile walk. I also found a little area I can run for a few minutes after my walks. I have devolped a...uhh..urge I guess? to RUN. I want to be a runner. I want to run far. I want to feel like nothing can stop me. I'm going to start training soon. I'm starting slow just some intervals of walk/run after my walks. I think because I have been walking for almost 2 months I have built a good base and that's why when I run now it dosen't hurt like it did when I tried it a few months ago. I can actually handle running for a minute and more. When I first tried running months ago, my shins hurt and so did my knees my legs killed. I'm proud of this progress.

I can't count calories. I have said this before many times. I always promise myself in the beginning of the week that I am going to count this week and keep track. But I can't. I know what a healthy meal looks like, I know what a healthy snack looks like. I can do it without counting I just have to figure out a different way to be accountable. Whenever I counted it was always an excuse to eat something unhealthy because it was still in my 'calorie range' I can't do that anymore. I'm going to start slow. I'm going to change my dinners first. I am going to make sure I am getting more veggies in my dinners and also good carbs. I'm not big on meat so it will be hard to get some protein in there.

28 days left till school starts!

no subject

2005-08-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

I will update tonight after my walk/run. I have lots to say. :)

-10

2005-07-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

10 LBS gone FOREVER!!! =)

Finally broke through 177 which I was stuck at for the past 2 weeks. I'm going to try my best and FitDay everyday this week and then record the amount of calories I consumed in this blog and also I will be recording my exercise which I always do on the side underneath 'Exercise Done This Week.'

8.5 more pounds to go. I'm looking forward to the 160's...I havent seen them in 4 years! Ahhhhh..... I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm losing weight. The right way. Finally.

..uhh

2005-07-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

Um..I thought I was doing a challange?

I guess not. I should have known better then to start one in the middle of the week. I havent done too bad...except I didn't count calories for a number of days.

So the challange is still going to be there cause I'm going to bust my ass for the rest of July however it wont be as strict as I first intended it to be. I have been at 177 for the past 2 weeks! It's making me insane! Honestly, I cannot wait till I'm at 175..that will mean 10 pounds gone FOREVER!!!!! I havent lost 10 pounds before, this is so exciting!

For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about joining a gym to take some classes. I think it will be good for me to try something new because I'm starting to get bored with my walking already. The only thing is, I cannot get over the fact that I'm embarassed to go to a gym. Seriously, isn't that the stupidest thing you have ever read? A fat girl embarassed to go to the gym? I mean..that's what I SHOULD be doing..that's what people do, go to the gym to get in shape..and here I am that wants to lose some lbs before she goes to the gym. I have to suck it up and just go and sign up. Another thing is, I'm afraid some people I know will be there..I know I know..I shouldn't care what other people think but it's hard not to.

And another thing, if I joined the gym I would have to drive there. Um I havent mentioned this before but I'm so SCARED of driving..I dont know why. I shouldn't be though cause I did my road test and passed last year. It's just that I havent driven in so long that I feel scared. I should definitley start driving around the block or something so I can get used to it.

Blah.

3 week mid summer challange

2005-07-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, as you all know my goal for the end of August in 166.5 which would mean I have lost 10% of my starting weight. Right now I'm at 177...that means in order for me to reach that goal I need to lose 10.5 more pounds in the next 7.5 weeks which is quite ambitious. If I don't reach that weight by the end of August..thats OK with me, because I will know that I tried VERY hard. Anyway...I'm setting up a challange for myself for the next 3 weeks (less then 3 weeks actually but oh well) to be more accountable and ramp things up a bit. So heres what I came up with so far:

6 days of cardio 45-60 minutes
3 days of lifting
No more then 1600 calories per day
At least 2 veggies and 2 fruits a day
Stretching before and after exercise
3 meals and at least 2 snacks

That's it for now. It's only for 3 weeks because I want to see how this challange goes for me...if it goes good then I will start a new one at the beginning of August! =)

.....LET THE CHALLANGE BEGIN! =D

hmm

2005-07-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

I'll be back tomorrow with a full out plan for a challange..not sure what I'm calling it yet but it's going to be kick ass! =)

Ack! I hate braces!

2005-07-04T14:32:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have mentioned this in my blog before but I have braces, I got them quite recently actually..in April. I just got my bottom teeth braced up today and I really feel it. It hurts and it's hard to eat. Luckily, I only need the braces for a year and then I will have perfect teeth =D YAY. I never got them in high school because I just didn't want to be bothered with them...I regret not getting them in high school. I will be starting college in September and have to go into it with braces... that really sucks lol.

Anyway, the eating has been terrible. I couldn't stop snacking yesterday. For some reason I just couldnt get full ...it was really odd. However, my exercising has been good so far and hopefully will be for the rest of the week. Yesterday on my walk..I saw a guy I knew from HS he was with a friend standing by their cars at the park. I started to feel kind of embarassed of how I looked and thought I should just go home instead of passing by them again. I started asking myself, what is more important? my health or these scumbags from high school? So when I walked by them again I kept chanting that in my head over and over again. If it was the old me..I would have left the park in embarassment. I'm so glad I finished my walk, I went home feeling stronger then ever.

I'm trying to figure out if it would be useful for me to record my calories on here. They are already recorded on Fitday everyday but would it make me more accountable to put them on my blog?

uhh...i can't move

2005-06-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

I just did The Firm - Body Sculpting Basics video that I got from the library.. it was made in the 80's and let me just say... HOLY FUCK IT WAS HARD! At times I couldn't even do some of the floor work because I needed to rest. It was really intese but when I was done I felt SO good, because it was so hard and just finishing the video was an accomplishment...it was 60minutes long! I will be adding this video in 2-3 times a week. I am SO glad tomorrow is a rest day.

By the way, if you check on the chart I'm down another pound! :) this is exciting. I'm actually doing really good with portion control..I'm learning slowly but have definitley improved since 2 weeks ago.

Now how am I going to get up off this chair? My legs are still shaking...ouch...can't move.

Rainy Summers day

2005-06-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it rained and it looked soo beautiful outside, it reminded me of autumn. I know I know..it was the first day of summer and it reminded me of autumn? lol. Anyways, I went for my walk in the RAIN, first I contemplated if I should go or not. I decided to go...and had a fabulous time, though I didn't do my regular 3 miles. I did 2 miles in 28 minutes instead and then walked the long way home. Yesterday, was a perfect exercise day I wish I could have days like this everyday.

Worst 3 days ever

2005-06-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

So I have been sick for the past 3 days..and yes that means no exercise :( and no appetite. I had a fever for 2 days and a headache. Whenever I moved I would get so dizzy, if I smelled food I would want to throw up. No sleep either cause my cough was so bad. Yesterday I went to the doctor found out I have a throat infection, she gave me some antibiotics but they havn't really started to work yet. The only thing is that the headache and dizzyness is gone but the cough is just too much..whenever I cough I feel like I'm going to explode.

Anyway, on a better not..I weighed in yesterday for my official weigh in and it was 179! YAY! Finally broke into the 170's. I want to try and lose 2lbs this week if I can...that would put me at 177 and 10.5 to go :)..a girl can dream right?

Im backk

2005-06-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone! I'm back from my little vacation. I was in Toronto for 3 weeks and had a blast! I enjoyed myself to the fullest. Now that it's summer I fully intend to keep up with this journal. I'm starting College in September and now is the time I can focus on myself. My main focus this summer is to be healthy and have fun while I'm doing it. I started my walking plan on Sunday and I love it. I love walking OUTSIDE. Treadmills are boring and I get tired of them quickly...when I'm walking outside I see new things everyday and enjoy the fresh air. Right now I have been doing 3 miles in 45minutes, I'm going to stick with this for another week and then evaluate myself and see if I can bump it up to 4 miles.

On the food side, I have been just eating healthy..no counting calories for now. I'm slowly adjusting myself to proper serving sizes. My summer goal is to get to 166.5 (my 10% goal) by August 20th. So far I have lost 5lbs so about 13.5 to go! I will put up my 'official' weight on Friday.

I know..this time it's going to be different. Because this time I'm not trying to force myself and i'm actually enjoying what I'm doing. Something inside me as definitley 'clicked'.

2005-05-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

5lbs down from my starting weight :) I am extremely happy. This is happening just by eating healthy, I have not exercised in awhile but that will be changing this week! The only thing I really changed was I replaced all my snacks with fruits and veggies and it has made a HUGE difference. :)

175 at the end of May? We will see! *crosses fingers*

Summer is here!

2005-04-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's SO hot here and it's only going to hotter. I can't believe it...it's only April, we usually don't get this kind of weather till June.

I guess counting calories isn't too bad, it actually is helping. I know how many cals I can have and I am picking healthy foods, breakfast is still a struggle sometimes I don't get it in but I always try to get something like a fruit if I don't have time for a whole meal. I'm weighing in on Friday. I stopped trying to make myself exercise so much. I was just burning out. So now my weekly goals are exercise 3x a week minimum and I am actually losing now so that's good. Still a little far from my first goal but definitley attainable :).

I can't beleive it's summer already, I feel great. I love it.

measurment update!

2005-03-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

Okay so here are the measurments! I have made some progress. The thing is... when I look in the mirror I don't see anything different. And those stupid hips!! Why wont they move? lol. Oh well hopefully they will change soon.

DATE	WEIGHT	ARM	BUST	WAIST	HIPS	THIGH	CALF
01/15/05	185	12	41	38	43	28.5	16
03/15/05	183	11.5	40.5	35.5	43	26	15.5

I'm going to be trying something new this week. I'm going to zig zag my calories from 1600 to 1800 so my week will look something like this. Monday 1800/Tuesday 1600/Wednesday 1800/Thursday 1600/Friday 1800/Saturday/1600/Sunday No Counting. I have heard this helps to boost the metabolism and lose fat.

With the help of Chris I have also designed a new workout rotation for myself for the next 2 weeks. It looks like this:

Monday: 25min brisk walking, jump rope 1min, 100 situps, 50 jumping jacks, jump rope 1min, 25 min brisk walking
Tuesday: Lower body strength training
Wednesday: 25min brisk walking, jump rope 1min, 100 situps, 50 jumping jacks, jump rope 1min, 25 min brisk walking
Thursday: Upper body strength training
Friday: 25min brisk walking, jump rope 1min, 100 situps, 50 jumping jacks, jump rope 1min, 25 min brisk walking
Saturday: Walking 2-3 miles outside
Sunday: OFF

I have changed my goal too. I would like to lose 18.5 pounds (10% of my starting weight) by August. I think this is very doable. Every month I would like to lose 5lbs. I can do this. I know I can. I feel fresh and new with this new nutrition and exercise plan. Wish me luck. I will report on Saturday when I weigh in.

Measurments

2005-03-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will be updating my measurements. This will be quite interesting.

Calories are the devil

2005-02-27T18:46:00.000-08:00

Screw it. This weight is going NO WHERE without counting calories.

UGH. I hate it I hate it I hate it!

Anyhoo...Maximum calories per day will be.....1800. Sunday will be a semi "Free Day".

I love exercising...but counting calories is just EVIL!

Okay so this whole week I will count calories then I will step on the scale Friday or saturday and check to see if there is a difference. There better be OR ELSE. =)

sick

2005-02-23T13:16:00.000-08:00

Last night TOM and a moderate fever decided to visit me at the exact same time! I feel a cough coming on too..I felt awful...I still feel awful, I still have a slight fever and have no energy what so ever. I was upset that I couldn't workout. HOWEVER, today gave me a chance to really focus on my food intake.

I HATE COUNTING CALORIES.....I tried to start again but I just can't. Can you lose weight without counting? Honestly? I just want to eat healthy and clean and not have to worry about logging it in everyday.

Today I had a good breakfast...I was happy, usually I have a tiny breakfast, and I have realized I need to change this habit. Today's menu so far:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with natty PB, honey and banana + Tea
Snack: apple with part skim cheese
Lunch: Whole wheat wrap with ground chicken, onion, tomato, lettuce and a tiny bit of salsa.
Snack: not sure yet
Dinner: I'm thinking maybe a turkey sandwhich?? yum.

How does my menu look so far? I'm pretty happy with it. I know I need to up my veggies and protein.

I want to so badly get in shape for the summer...I want to lose at least 30lbs by July. That gives me about 4 months. I feel like I know I can do this. I mean I don't want to focus on a number but it's hard not to...OK maybe I should say this instead, I want to be in GREAT shape by July, I don't care what the number is as long as I can look decent in a bikini lol. I'm going to Toronto and I'm so excited to see my cousins.

Clean eating, cardio, weight training..will get me there. Go me!

Summer is coming

2005-02-21T17:23:00.000-08:00

Meals

Breakfast: Regular Oatmeal with PB, banana and honey with tea
Post workout meal: Protein shake: Whey protein, half banana, 1/4 tablespoon pb, slim milk
Lunch: Home made LF curried chicken (1 medium chicken thigh) with 1 cup white rice (was out of brown) with salad of carrots and cucumber
Snack: ???
Dinner: Home made tandoori chicken with salad.....YUM

4 litres of water

Workout
5 minutes warmup
Lower body strength training
20 minute cardio

...

2005-02-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

Simple

Carbs

Suck.

Down 2

2005-02-07T13:52:00.000-08:00

GUESS WHAT?

I LOST 2 POUNDS!

I checked my weight last week and I was still hovering over 186 pounds.....and today when I checked I was 184! I couldn't believe it so I ran downstairs to grab my glasses to make sure lol. YAY! I'm hoping I can get into the 170's really SOON..like by the end of feb. *crosses fingers*

And you know what? I only counted calories for ONE day..and I just picked healthy choices (actually last night I had a couple of treats but oh well...they were worth it ).

I can't wait to work out today! Thank you SHAPERS! Honestly without all you girls, I don't think I would be doing this the RIGHT way. =D

I just did my workout for today...it was a little late because I had to wait till my mom came home.

I walked 3 miles in 47 minutes today! And after did a 3 minute cool down and then some stretching. That's a big improvement. I was hovering between 3.7-4.0mph so it was a really REALLY good workout for me. I'm drenched in sweat right now lol.

Burned 348 calories according to www.caloriesperhour.com

I feel good today.

Eight days a week

2005-02-04T13:15:00.000-08:00

I have been wearing my pedometer for 4 days now and everytime I have been able to make it over 10,000 steps! I honestly had to jump around, walk in place, dance like a maniac to get to that much, it was great and SO MOTIVATING! That's awesome right? I mean I realized that if I didn't have the pedometer I would only be getting in about 2000 steps MAX per day. Holy shit. That's like nothing. I hope this really makes a difference. I can't help but thank Chris for this awesome idea.

On Tuesday I had my lower body workout but I didn't do cardio afterwards, I felt like crap the rest of the day.....am I starting to get dependent on my exericse? I felt so tired and moody Tuesday. I made sure to do my cardio for the rest of the week and I feel GREAT I am happy and feeling so energized. What a difference right? I love exercise. Who knew?

Ok I know this is going to sound bad but it's 12:09 and I didn't eat anything yet! Only because I got up at 10 and had a cup of tea then I worked out at 11 cause I didn't want to eat anything before I worked out.

Workout today was 57 minutes long..I usually never have workouts this long the only reason it was so long was cause I taped the OC last night and I was watching while I was walking on the treadmill and lost track of time. I was walking at a pace of 3.5mph so I burned about 338 calories.

Anyhoo, I'm going to eat something now, I think some cereal and fruit cause I have to go run some errands and then I'll come home and have some lunch with my mom.

About the title of the post: I'm a tad obsessed with The Beatles right now..lol. Honestly their music makes me want to get up and dance. I'm a little late arent I?

Dear Blog

2005-01-31T16:00:00.000-08:00

I have definitley neglected this blog, it's just been hard, I never know what to type in this thing anymore. However, I am back with a goal and I KNOW I can achieve it. I have cleaned up my eating, I am eating more but eating clean, I'm very proud of this. I will have treats here and there but everything in moderation. My exercise schedule is always changing, and I'm trying to get some more ideas for a new one that I can stick to for at least a month. I think I am going to try what Chris is doing (btw congrats on the 10 pound loss!). I have my pedometer and I'm going to get in 10, 000 steps in per day and also do my lifting.

I am not attending school till September so I'm really excited that I'm going to get all this time to focus on my health. My goal is to lose 30-40lbs by June/July, I know I can do it..I just need to get more in focus with my exercise and start to get out more. I'm going to start walking at the track by my house more often, one time around it is 1 mile, my first goal will be to brisk walk around it 3 times.

I'm very excited.

2005-01-01T02:21:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Changes!

2004-12-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

OK so I have to change my workout...doing weight training 3 times per week isn't giving my muscles enough time to recover sooooo I'm going to do it only 2 times a week for now and I will get back to 3 later when I have built up some good base muscle.

So my plan will look like this:

Monday: Cardio (30-45min)
Tuesday: Lower body weight training
Wednesday: Cardio (30-45min)
Thursday: Upper body weight training + Cardio (25-40min)
Friday: Cardio (30-45min)
Saturday: Cardio (30-45min)
Sunday: REST

So far I have done really great with the plan I have been sticking to it and I'm very proud of that. My eating has been good, though I have had some little treats here and there but very minimal..no point in depriving yourself right? Since I started eating more I think I might have gained a couple of pounds because of the damage I did to my metobalism by eating only 1200 so it will take time to recover. I don't mind though, I love eating healthy and eating lots of it I already see a difference in the way I feel. The exercise makes me feel great though, I don't know if it's just me but when you do exercise don't you feel slimmer instantly by just knowing you worked your body hard? I do! Hehe.

Kick Butt Rotation

2004-12-06T13:48:00.000-08:00

Starting a new rotation this week:

Monday: Lower body weight training
Tuesday: Cardio (45-60min)
Wednesday: Upper body weight training + Cardio (45-60min)
Thursday: Cardio (45-60min)
Friday: Lower body weight training
Saturday: Upper body weight training (optional) + Cardio (45-60min)
Sunday: Rest

Did my lower body weight training today, I was planning on doing some cardio after too but I couldn't!! I was about to fall over, especially after the stiff legged deadlifts lol.....I had a awesome workout! =)

Eating will be around 1800-1900 calories of CLEAN EATING.

BTW I'm not looking at the scale anymore, so I don't know how much I weigh right now and wont know till after at least 3-4 weeks.

WATP

2004-11-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

Did my 4 mile WATP tape today.

I forgot how fun it was!

I'm almost at my November goal of walking 20 miles, I have walked........19 miles so far!!! Only one more to go and I'll probably go over my goal which is EXCELLENT! I'm feeling much better.

=)

Lose weight

2004-11-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

How do you lose weight?

How are you losing weight?

The big bad hump

2004-11-22T18:50:00.000-08:00

How do I get over this hump??? I'm SO stuck.

Thank you all for your kinds words. I know you are all right, I just need to give myself time and stick to plan, eat good foods for my body and exercise, so simple no? Then why is it SO fucking difficult?

It was my birthday yesterday and honestly I felt like shit. The day before (saturday) I went shopping and guess what?? I went up 3 fucking sizes =(. I couldn't believe myself, I stood in the changing room utterly disgusted with myself, I wanted to cry so bad but I couldn't my mom was waiting outside to see how the pants fit, I showed her and she was shocked too, the size 13 pants were SO tight. I tried on the 14's, TIGHT. 15?? They didn't have any 15's. It was so embarassing asking for a 15. In the beginning of this year I was a size 12. Last year I was a size 10-11. What am I gona be next year size 20?

I don't know what's happening to me. I need help. I need support. I need a hug. I need someone who understand me. I need a friend. I don't have any of that here. That's one of the reasons I made this blog so I could gain support from others that are on the same journey. I have been truly inspired by so many of you.

I tell myself everyday, I can do it, I can do it. But why can't I? Why is it that whenever I get serious about something, I step on the scale and am disappointed, discouraged. Everything goes to a waste after that, I stop exercising, thinking what's the fucking point, I'm going to be fat forever. Then a few days later I see an amazing dress and I want it so bad and tell myself again I can do it, I can do it. It all repeats over and over again.

Someone please smack me. Tell me, "it's so easy" just stick with it Min..you can do it, you are better then this, you can make your life change, believe in yourself.

I feel like I'm breaking inside, everything is so hard, so out of reach for me, ALWAYS.

Someone help...

=D

2004-11-21T13:21:00.000-08:00

Happy 19th Birthday to ME!!!

(I'll be back tomorrow to update, but right now I'm going to go have some fun!!!)

Shitty day

2004-11-13T11:14:00.000-08:00

I worked out 5 times this week, more then I have done in a LONG TIME. Guess what?

I gained 1 pound =(.

I feel so discouraged. I can't believe this, I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I think it's my eating. It's not out of control, I always thought I was eating healthy. I guess it's time to go back to counting, which I DESPISE, I hate doing it because it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life.

Bleh. I feel like shit. The End.

Exercise check in #4 + some

2004-11-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

UGH! All I have to say is I feel like shit at home these days. Not getting along with my parents AT ALL. I feel like I'm always feeling angry. I guess this is why a lot of teens move out when they are 17-18 and I'm turning 19 in 9 days and still living at home. I just HOPE TO GOD that I will get a job soon so most of my days will be spent outside of the house instead of inside. I need the money too, I need a cell phone and money to spend when I go out and of course money for new clothes because I'm going to slim down right??? LOL. I'm going to apply for a job at the library I REALLY REALLY TRULY HOPE that I will get the job!

Did a 2 mile brisk walk today = 30 minutes :)

This weeks exercise minutes so far: 135 minutes

Exercise Check in #3

2004-11-11T15:01:00.000-08:00

Did my 2 mile WATP tape today, it felt gooooood. I have been doing good with food lately except for a couple of chocolate incidents that I'm not very proud of =(. Oh well you live and learn right?

Did I ever mention that my mom walks about 7-8 miles A DAY? She has only lost about 5 pounds in 3-4 months BUT she has lost TONS of inches off her waist and hips...she looks sooooo slim, I'm so proud of her! Sometimes I feel a little embarassed around her, everyone always compliments on her body and how she looks like she has lost tons of weight and that she's getting too skinny, I just feel bad that I should be doing the same thing as her, she was never overweight to begin with weighed 30 pounds less then me. She loves walking it's a part of her day now and I really hope that's how my workouts will be like for me.

Anyways!!! I'm happy that I got my 2 miles in today =)

This weeks exercise minutes so far: 105 minutes

Exercise Check in #2

2004-11-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

Just checking in again..Did 1 mile today :) I'm glad I at least did one.

So that's 15 more minutes added to my weekly exercise minutes.

This weeks exercise minutes so far: 75 minutes

Exercise check in

2004-11-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

Did another 2 mile walk today, it was 30 minutes. I feel sooooooo GOOD!

Approx: 194 calories burned (most likely more since there are other moves involved in the walking)

Weekly exercise minutes so far: 60 minutes

Minutes of Exercise

2004-11-07T18:32:00.000-08:00

Instead of recording my weekly losses I'm going to record weekly minutes of exercise, I think that's more positive and will keep me more sane. I will however, still record my weight once a week but not like how I had designed to.

Today I did the 2 mile WATP tape it was great, first time trying the video..I just bought it today along with the 3 mile they were on sale. I like it instead of plain ol' walking for 2 miles you do 4 other moves, I enjoyed it and plan on doing it again tomorrow.

So far 30 minutes of exercise this week.

It means everything

2004-11-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

Did intervals of running and walking 1 minute each Monday and Tuesday on monday it took me 15 minutes and 30 seconds to do 1 mile yesterday it took me 14 minutes and 20 seconds!! Isn't that great? I felt so good. Today I'm taking a break, I'm upset and feel like crap and thank god I didn't goto food for comfort instead I talked to myself and told myself that even if hard work goes unnoticed whatever I do I do it for myself and no one else, so why should anyones opinions matter?

I got accepted into a college of my choice and my dad told me "it doesn't mean anything" when I have worked my ass off these past 2 years to get to this point, after dropping out of school cause I thought I wasn't smart enough, I went back and now I will be graduating soon and I'm accepted into this college and he tells me it doesn't mean anything?? I felt like shit. I felt like all those good grades counted for nothing, as I ran for the bathroom to cry my eyes out, I talked to myself and let me know that I love me for being brave and getting to this point in my life. Today is a milestone for me I am extremely proud of myself. I don't care what people think I'm doing this for me because I deserve it, if my father doesn't think it means anything then he can just shove it =)

BTW I decided what I want to do, I want to be a elementry teacher. 5 years of college/university here I come!!!

Fitday

2004-10-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who is utterly bored of tracking calories? I really need to start again, my exercise has been going good, the only thing is my food intake, when I was tracking my calories before I had lost 5 pounds it was awesome. I'm going to try doing it again, it just sucks always searching for the food, oh well it's worth the pounds going down isn't it?

BTW did I mention that I *LOVE* my pedometer =D

Oh one more thing before I sign off, brownies should burn in hell.

Operation: NYE

2004-10-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

SCREW IT!!!!!! I didn't follow the plan I made for myself. I've finally figured it out, I've figured out why I have been totally unmotivated lately. It's because I except myself to do so much so fast and expect to see results right away too. So what does this lead to? OPERATION: NYE this was Stef's idea, I asked her if I could join her and she said sure :) I think it's a awesome idea!! I am looking forward to the new year and thought to myself that this challange would be great for me, the best thing is, I'm going to take things SLOW so I can get back into the groove and wont feel so unmotivated either.

OPERATION: NYE

I've taken this from Stef (Stef I hope it was ok for me to take this bit from your blog)

The Name: Operation: NYE is actually Operation: New Year's Eve. Named simply because it revolves around reaching my goal for New Year's Eve 2004.

The Timespan: Monday 25th October to Friday 31st December, 2004 (10 weeks)

The Plan: To start off slow so I will stay motivated, change workout every week i.e. doing 2 miles instead of 1 mile. This will keep my body guessing.

Week 1 Walk 1 mile Monday-Saturday

I'm excited about this plan!!! I edited it out because I realized that I was making a mistake AGAIN, trying to make myself jump into a plan without even starting off slow. So now I fixed that and made it simple as walking 1 mile, tomorrow I'm going to goto a thrift store and check if they have any WATP tapes there, they would be great for me especially since it rains here a lot. I've only put a plan for Week 1 just because I want to see how it goes and how I feel before I make a plan for the next 2 weeks. See you all in a week!

Promises

2004-10-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

You know, I really hate making promises to myself about exercise or food. It makes me feel like shit afterwards if I don't get it done but I guess that's supposed to be the point, get it done = feel good, don't get it done = feel like shit. Ahhh. Anyway, here I am on Friday, October 15, 2004 about to make another couple of promises for myself, here goes:

Monday - Walk 2 miles
Tuesday - Walk 2 miles
Wednesday - Walk 2 miles
Thursday - Walk 2 miles
Friday - Walk 2 miles
Saturday - Walk 2 miles
Sunday - Walk 2 miles

= 14 miles

No weight training next week because I want to see how I can do with JUST cardio, I think I really need to focus on my cardio first then start adding weight training.

Now let's talk about eating! YAYYY favorite topic in the world, NOT. I'm just going to eat healthy, eat lots of veggies/fruits, stay away from high fat foods, add more fiber, drink lots of water, cut down on the chai tea to only one cup in the mornings.

Daily checkups starting Monday to record my exercise for the day and calories burned.

Sick...

2004-10-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

I have been sick for the past couple of days, meaning no workout and no school. I'm more upset about school then the exercise. I HATE biology, I absolutely hate it, I'm doing awful in the class and I really want to drop it, but I can't because I need the class =(. Science is not my thing, I'd rather take 5 english classes then 1 biology class. I have pretty much failed my last 2 tests and I have about 30 more tests to go (we do 1 year worth of work in 2 months) and I have a presentation on the 20th which I am NOT looking forward too. I don't know what to do about this class, I guess I should talk to the teacher, the thing is we have NO homework or anything what so ever we are graded from our tests and presentation ONLY, doens't that suck? I can't even bring up my mark unless some miracle happened and I actually understood the textbook. I'm not feeling good at all...I just want to cry =(.

I know I said this before..

2004-10-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back and ready to start fresh again. After taking a long hiatus from this blog I've learned a bit more about myself and my health. I have been going crazy with food but still exercising so I have been able to maintain at 180, but I'm stuck here, I need to move down! So here I am ready to get back into the groove of things. I missed you all. Thank you for all your support! *hugs*

I'm Back!

2004-09-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

So I took a little rest from this journal, just because I felt like it, no real reason! :)

After getting some VERY helpful tips from the girls at the Shape message board I have upped my calories to 1800-2000. I asked them all if eating 1300 calories per day while staying active 6 times a day would be OK, and they all said NO, why? It was obvious and I can't believe I didn't figure this out earilier, will I be able to eat 1300 calories for the rest of my life? NO. I can't and wont. I will not deprive myself, yes I wont eat junk food but I wont say I wont eat it once in awhile just not like how I was eating it before (almost everyday). If I ate 1300 calories for let's say, 7 months? And I lost weight, then started eating like normal again I would gain it all back and possibly more. So I upped my calories to an amount that is normal and I can still lose weight by eating that many. Basically I figured out my BMR (2765) from here http://www.bcm.edu/cnrc/consumer/archives/energy_needs_of_women.htm and just cut about 765 calories from it. I have also stopped counting my calories, this doesn't mean I'm going to be going over my calorie range of 1800-2000 it just means I know when I am full, and I have checked for a few days adding up my calories on fitday at the end of a day of non counting that I stay in that range comfortably, that means I have learned a lot from my body, I actually listen to it's signals now. I am noway going to count calories for the rest of my life, I don't want to be obsessive. I know what's good for me and I know what's not. I know what's healthy, I don't eat junk. I workout 6 times a week, Strength training 3X a week and Cardio 3X a week. I think I have already accomplished a great deal.

It feels good to be free. I feel like I am enjoying life again. Healthy foods and exercise make me HAPPY!! :D

WOOHOO!

2004-09-03T11:14:00.000-07:00

VICTORY!!!

Even though it's not weigh in today, I weighed myself because I hadn't weighed myself on Monday, I was too scared of what I would say. I am proud to announce that I am now at 180.5!!!! I was SO happy. After no loss for 2 weeks this was what I really needed to give me that motivation again.

I have been walking Tuesday's and Thursday's with my mum. My brother has soccer practice on those days from 6:30-8:00 so we walk from 6:30-7:30 and I KNOW that's what really helped with the loss. I'm so glad I went on Tuesday, I wasn't going to go, I was being lazy but my mom talked me into going and I'm so happy that she did!

I went to Aritzia a couple of days ago, my mum bought me 2 more sweat suits from there (I only buy them from there) she spent over 250.00 on both for me. Whenever she buys me clothes she goes all out. I got the best mommy in the world! lol. When we were there she told me to try on size medium pants because the large looked big from the back, I insisted to her that medium wouldn't fit me but she said to try it anyway, I tried it and IT FIT!!! It's a little snug but they fit! The pants went over my theighs and butt, I could have almost cried at that point.

I have MUCH more motivation now then I did a week ago. Thank you all for your support. :)

This site has opened my eyes, even at eating 1200 calories I was starving myself. Thanks to the girls at the Shape message board, I learned that I need more calories and even if I consume more I will still lose the weight. http://www.bcm.edu/cnrc/consumer/archives/energy_needs_of_women.htm

Jibberish

2004-08-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Well I'm still stuck at 182..which isn't SO bad, at least I'm not gaining. I've been disappointed with myself this past week but life goes on and the future is looking bright. I have checked out some books from the library which have a lot of information about strength training, I'm really looking forward to some new routines.

I have decided to post a before picture of myself. This picture is one year old, I was probably around 175 - 180 in this picture. Please excuse the face paint stuff lol. It was taken before going to halloween dance. I will take a picture at home of now at 182 which would be more recent. Looking at these before pictures gives me lots of motivation to keep moving. Even if I'm not accomplishing what I have set out for the week at least I'm doing SOME of it rather then none of it. A new month will start and I'll have new goals to put up. I'm kind of excited for September. School starts! Usually I wouldn't be so happy, but I havn't been to school in so long and I'm really excited to finally have some structure to my days.

Ready boots?

2004-08-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

Walking. Best exercise in the world. So why can't I get over the fact that I have to go OUTSIDE to do this. Yes, I have a treadmill that my daddy bought me, it's sitting in my room, it's my baby BUT I know to be healthIER I need to go outside. Why the fuck am I so scared to go outside? I've been cooped up inside for so long, I need some fresh air in my lungs. My body deserves the best treatment in the world and I'm punishing it by always ALWAYS staying inside. Maybe if I had someone to go outside and walk with me would make things a little easier but I don't and that's that. Didn't I just tell myself a few days ago that I didn't care about anything except myself and my health? My birthday challange is not going well. I need to think of a reward I can give myself at the end of it, nothing food related or pound related. Something really good, any ideas?

Pedometer

2004-08-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

My mom bought me a Pedometer, it's really cool I havn't taken it out with me yet but can't wait to! I'm terrfied of weigh in tomorrow, I've checked my weight earlier this week and it is the same up 2 pounds. I'm hoping it's just muscle gain since I've been doing strength training for almost a month now. I don't know how to motivate myself to do cardio, should I make up a challange for myself and reward myself at the end of it? I think that would work, I would just have to think of a reward that I would REALLY really want and it couldn't be anything to do with the scale moving down because I want my mind to be elsewhere.

My dad goes back to work today, this really sucks..I'm not going to see him for a week again. He told me yesterday that he might cancel his trip to India in January because he doesn't know what he's going to do when he gets there, but I think he should go because he has to claim his land and money that grandpa left behind for him before January 24th (i think) or else the bank will end up keeping it, I don't know what kind of process that is but it doesn't really make sense, heck nothing in India ever makes sense lol.

School starts September 7th and I need to buy some new clothes. I'm not going to buy a lot just a couple of things because all of it's going to goto waste since I'm going to lose the weight right? I'll have to smaller clothes later on. One of my first big goals is to lose 15 pounds by my birthday which is in November on the 21st (scorpio) that would be the best birthday present for me. Farrah's birthday is in October and we are planning on celebrating together. We're both turning 19.

EDIT: I've decided to make a little birthday challange for myself. It will be starting tomorrow and ending in November. You can check it out on the right. :)

So what if I listen to Hilary Duff?

2004-08-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly over up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

I started listening to the lyrics and my eyes started to sting and soon tears were falling. Sometimes music speaks to you like nothing else. The past 2 years of my life have been anything but pleasent, but I'm not complaining I learned more about myself, about the world and people then ever before. I know it's my time to "fly" now, I'm doing so many positive things with my life, and I know I deserve it. Sometimes my past holds me back from so many things and I get frustrated and feel myself getting back into that black hole. I need to learn how to let go. I'm moving on, but so slowly. I'm finally tough, tough enough to fight back and let people know what's on my mind, I cannot be broken by anyones words anymore, this is my life and I choose not to let anyones words/thoughts make me feel any less of myself or get in the way of my happiness. I wont hide anymore like I have in the past year. I map out my future, I make my own decisions, I am my own strength. I have learned to love myself, and I am more important to me then anything else. Life began 18 years ago and finally I have learned that I need to make the most of it now.

And when you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Fiber

2004-08-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Could someone explain to me about the benifits of fiber+weightloss? I'm kind of confused!

The scale says I'm back to my starting weight this morning, (i know it wasn't weigh in day but i had to check since i thought there would be a loss) I was REALLY REALLY upset. I don't know what's going on with my body. I've been exercising (havn't gotten any cardio in though, could that be it?) and my eating hasn't been so bad either. What the hell is going on? I *hope* it's just water weight or something.

I'm feeling so discouraged right now :(

Comments fixed!

2004-08-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

I fixed my comments :)

The problem was with the template so I decided to just use one of Bloggers templates so that I wouldn't have the same problem again.

I was wondering why I wasn't getting any comments! LOL.

Did my lower body workout. It's 12:44 and I havn't had breakfast yet. Should I have it or no? Maybe I'll just have some fruit. I'm seriously going to kick some major butt this week that scale is going to move down dammit!

Going to be taking my measurements today, I had taken them before and they were saved onto the computer but since my computer crashed and I couldn't save anything I have to write them down again.

Disappointment

2004-08-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

Weigh in was today and I was very disappointed, I had a gain. I should have expected it since I didn't eat accrodingly this week. I started logging what I eat again today and I promise I am going to lose 1-2 lbs this week! I'm going to set that alarm clock everyday to 6:30AM and am going to walk 2 miles from Tuesday-Sunday. I'm going to start logging in my walking as well, it will keep me on track. Strength training will stay at 3 times a week. I have to say though my butt is starting to look good! I don't see all that cellulite that I had before, there is a some there but not as much as there used to be. My biceps look awesome they are really starting take shape, I'm so proud of that :)

List

2004-08-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

Activities done so far this week:

Monday - Lazy
Tuesday - 25min on the treadmill = 234 calories burned
Wednesday - Upper body weights
Thursday - Lower body workout
Friday - 24 minutes on the treadmill = 254 calories burned

Unfortently I didn't keep up with my cardio goal, at least I'll get some down this week it's still pretty good comapred to pervious weeks. My weights goal has been execellent I will finish with one more workout for the rest of the week.

In other news, my dad is coming home tonight! I havn't seen him in 2 weeks :)

I just finished reading Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman last night, great book, very different from what I usually read, I loved it.

:)

2004-08-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

After a week of semi healthy eating I'm proud to announce that I still managed to lose 1.5 pounds. I swear, pizza is my total weakness and I wont stop eating it!!! No way. This morning my scale kept dancing around 181-182 it was so frustrating, I really need a new scale so it wasn't as acurate but I just guessed it would be 181.5. I'm really going to work hard this week so maybe I will lose more if I just stay on track and a little more exercise as well.

My goal for this week is definitley try to do more exercise - more cardio that is. So I'm shooting for 5 days of cardio and 3 days of weights. I will reward myself with a special treat...maybe some new panties? Haha. I don't know but something! Anyways I should get going. Nothing else has been going on. I'm trying to comfort a friend at the moment so many bad things have happend to her lately it's just awful. She's really getting depressed, she reminds me of me 1 year ago but I'll be there to help her through this hard time.

Have a great week everyone!!! :)

EDIT: Did 25 minutes on the treadmill today -- I suppose that's a good start :) I hope I can keep it up for the rest of the week.

Bored

2004-08-04T19:51:00.000-07:00

This week has been going good so far. I've started my working out routine. No cardio though but I will add that next week. Yesterday I did a lower body workout that consisted of lots of squats and lunges, the burn felt goooood!!! haha :) Today I did an upper body workout with weights. I'm really hoping to see a loss on Monday. Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like I've totally over-eaten but when I go check I'm actually OK on the calories. Still I find it hard to manage my meals some are so big and some are so small. TOM is coming up soon and I am so NOT ready to how my body will react to the food. Eek.

I've been stressing about school lately. I havn't decided what college I officialy want to goto. I'm still not very happy with my English course and am thinking about taking it over again at another school or community college in January. If all this was over and done with last year I would be teaching little pre-schoolers right now. I guess this is the way it was supposed to be. I'm happy that in September 2005 I will finally enroll into the program and in 2006 I will graduate -- that will seriously be one of the most important days of my life.

REALLY tired of being home all the time.

Hooray!

2004-08-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

I got up in the morning, brushed my teeth and went straight to the scale since it was weigh in day today and......
A loss of 2 pounds! How awesome is that? I slacked off a a little bit this week but still managed to lose 2 pounds. I'm super happy, see this is the kind of motivation I need!

Thyroid

2004-07-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

I think I need to go get my thyroid checked.

Temptation

2004-07-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

I havn't been doing well lately! Last night I had a burger, which wasn't so bad because it was extra lean meat and it was all veggies, some cheese on a whole wheat bun. The bad part is that I had FRIES!! Can you beleive it??? I couldn't resist. Especially since the smell was all over the house. I feel like shit, but whatever it's in the past and obviously I can't do shit about it. Blah fucking blah.

Today I did OK I starved for most of the morning because I was to into reading Dr. Phil's weight loss book LOL. I can't believe it! I put off food for Dr. Phil wow! It's actually a great book. Some really good pointers. I'm going to stick to my calorie counting for now and when I'm halfway to my goal I'll try his method. It looks really good and I totally understand it.

Anyways, we're having pizza tonight (homemade) and I'm going to eat it and not feel bad because my calories are extremely low today and plus it's not bad greasy pizza ( I made sure my mom made a very thin crust!)

Exercising has been down in the dumps. Havn't exercised at all. I'm going to downtown again tomorrow morning so I'll get some walking in then. Also, next week I think I'll make myself a challange to walk 12 miles in 6 days :) I think that would be cool and very helpful.

My scale is going haywire. It's pissing me off :(. It keeps dancing up and down and I know that stupid thing is messed up. I payed only $14.00 so what should have I expected? It works fine sometimes but other times, I don't know what's wrong with it. It's like someone is playing with it..keep making the pin go above 0, whoever is doing it is very mean =(.

Last night I spent some time cleaning out my MSN contact list only 11 people left. I remember when I used to have like 70. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I've spent more time on this computer then I ever have on anything. Once, my life was the fucking computer. I can't believe that happened to me. I'm glad it's not like that anymore even though I do spend a fair amount of time on it just not as much as I used to.

I'm turning 19 years old on November 21st, I need a fucking life.

EDIT
I'm already feeling lonely with no one to talk to. I swear no one understands me at home!!!! =/
Anyone want to add me on MSN or AIM leave me a comment! :)

Is it working?

2004-07-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

Oh god, my body ached so bad today! I swear I took like 5minutes taking off my shirt to go into the shower because whenever I moved my arms, shoulder or chest it hurt so bad! I didn't work out today, I couldn't. I know I just had to do lower body today but still I just really hurt and couldn't do it but tomorrow is a new day -- I might not do the lower body workout tomorrow right in the morning because I have to go downtown with my mom so we'll be be pretty much walking around I'll get in some exercise that way and also I'll try to do lower body in the evening.

My eating was great today even though at some points of the day I felt a little "starved" but I just drank some water or had a couple of baby carrots and felt a little better. I can't wait for grocery shopping on Saturday because then I'll at least have some more variety and feel like I have more options. I ended up with 1184 calories today. I know that's low but I was feeling really tired because of my muscles and just didn't want to get up to eat or walk or anything!

Sometimes it feels deadly looking in the fridge because I see all these yummy things and I know I can't eat them because of the loads of calories in them, so I just shut the door and either sit infront of the TV or computer. That's all I do all day, sad huh? I can't wait for school to start in September, it's only one class, but hey it's still school right? I'll be busy with that for a few hours a day.

I don't think mom realises I'm on a diet program that I made for myself. All she knows is that I've cut back on tea to only one cup a day. I guess it's better that she doesn't know. Everytime she knew I failed and it was disappointing to see her so disappointed in myself =/.

Holy shit am I gassy! It's all that brown rice...dude if this happens with just rice what will happen with cereal?

Boring

2004-07-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Very boring day, but when do I ever have and fun-packed days anyway? I guess it's okay. It's been like this for a year now and I'm used to it. I can't believe I was such a social person, I can't belive what a anti-social person I am now. My only contact with the outside world is Aman. Even today we didn't talk much, he seemed busy with his DAY OFF. I shouldn't be mad though, it's his life and he seemed kind of bored just like me...we were talking about nothing, actually we were saying nothing. Oh look he just signed on hmm..I'll wait for him to message me like I usually do, why do I do this?? It's so weird I'm always waiting for everything! Well at least now I'm taking control in other aspects of my life like my weight.

I woke up late today (11AM!!!) so I went straight ahead to working out because I promised I would!! I did upper body workout with weights with the help of Kathy Smith Lift weights to lose weight video. My arms were like jelly afterwards! It was great haha. I loved the aching feeling because it made me feel like I accomplished something big-something that is going to help me out in the future :)

I didn't have breakfast since I woke up so late (note to self: buy some high fiber cereal!) For lunch I had yesterdays left over burrito (1 1/2) and for dinner I had curry chicken with brown rice. Snacks were baby carrots and a couple of slices of mango. I managed to stay under 1300 calories so that's great :). I'm trying to stay between 1200-1300 calories a day closer to the 1200 range. I'm not going to get mad at myself if I go 20-30 over because I don't want to feel guilty even though somtimes it's good to feel guilty but you shouldn't have to beat yourself up about it right?

It's only 9:13PM and I'm hoping my full stomach lasts till I goto bed. I don't want to be snacking, if I do get hungry I guess I'll grab a piece of fruit or something.

Anyways what do you all do when you find yourself hungry and it's not time for Lunch or Dinner yet? What do you snack on? and if you have lots more hours to go what do you snack on to keep you full?

Not too shabby...

2004-07-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Didn't workout today. But I will tomorrow for sure.

What I ate:

In the morning I didn't know what to eat for breakfast..I seriously can't stand eggs anymore. I just had 6 baby carrots to eat and that's it. I don't mind, even though it didn't fill me up..at least I had carrots instead of a lemon muffin or a donut :)

For lunch I made myself 3 burritos 2 for today and 1 for tomorrow. I used a whole wheat tortilla and filled with red kidney beans (are these okay? I'll look it up later) that I heated up and added some salsa to and some chili powder. Also some fresh lettuce, tomato, onions and green peppers. I added some salsa (sugar free) and regular cheddar cheese which is SO bad but I can't get any non fat cheeses until Saturday when my dad comes home.
This lunch filled me up too much! To that disgusting bloating stage..I should have just had 1 or 1 and a half. I need to work on controling my eating.

Drank lots of water throughout the day (2litres) is that a lot? LOL. I don't even know, but to me it was.

Now for dinner. I'm ashamed to say that I had 2 slices of vegetarian pizza :( not very big slices but still they were two slices of vegetarian pizza. Usually I would have 3 pieces..I'm glad I controled myself and had only 2 which made me full but not the extent that I wanted to throw up :).

Today I basically was online for most of the day looking through other peoples fitness blogs and getting some tips. It's amazing to see all these people that are trying to do the same thing as me, get fit. And what's even more amazing is all their results, it gives me lots of hope and inspiration.

I also jazzed up my blog a little bit too lol.

I have some plans to workout tomorrow. I'll post them when I actually do them :)

So it begins...

2004-07-24T17:24:00.000-07:00

I've contemplated for a long time to create a blog about my weight loss journey or not. Because even I'm not sure if there will be a "weight loss journey".

Losing weight is not just a small little issue to me. It's a BIG issue. Where as I am only 18 years old and feel like I can't even live life fat. To me, my life doesn't start till I'm fit and I know that's so unfair and stupid but that's just how I feel and it's so hard to change that. By next year around this time I WILL have reached my goal *corsses fingers* I deserve better. Way better.

Yesterday I worked out and today I didn't. I'm disappointed. I know so much more about exercise then I ever did before but I never put words into actions. I'm waiting for Monday to creep up so I can officaly start this "journey". I've made up my mind, nothing will stop me from what I want most. 50 pounds isn't easy to lose, I know this. But I need to do it. I want to be healthy.

I remember when Aman once said to me..."if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for me" that was a wake up call. I know he wants me to be healthy and fit and he cares about me so much, I love him with every beat of my heart. He motivates me and shows me all the things I can do that I'm so embarassed to do right now. He makes me believe that I can do this.

I can and will do this.